Soe said: "Yes sistren a ring may be taken on or off so if the man take the ring off with ill intent then the paper don't stop him anyway. At least he might think twice as he removes his ring."
So that makes the ring as false as the paper. So what is your point? A paper is no more false than a ring. A paper is no more false than a marriage ceremony. A paper is no more false than the man who presents it. He will always know whether his intentions are true or false, and will proceed accordingly.
The I believes that the right partner for her will know how to approach her with love, honor and dignity, just as I am sure HIM approached his empress.
A few have tried to explain what HIM meant/inferred by signing a marriage contract with his empress. But they have not been in HIM'S mind, so how can they be qualified to say what HIM's intentions were? Actions speak louder than words. We must look at the actions of HIM. As a man does, as a man is.
The truth is in the heart. If the heart is right, it will lead to a righteous path of peace, love and harmony.
If the heart is not right, no matter how many rings you wear, how many declarations of love you receive, how many pieces of paper you own, a lie remains a lie. On this point I do agree with you, Brother Soe.
Sisten, don't expect a man to understand the shame one feels at presenting a bastard child to their family. Even though the family will show the child love, the stigma will still be there, even after all these years.
Don't expect a man to understand the look in your parents' eyes (especially your father) to realize you are shacking up without benefit of marriage.
First we are told the paper has no value, means nothing. Yet, over a thing that means nothing and has no value, what would it cost to provide that to a life partner? Ask yourselves that question, then decide if you are worth a written commitment or not. Establish a standard of respect for yourselves and stick to it. It will serve you well.
Don't expect a man to understand these things... until he becomes a loving, caring father to a daughter who requires his guidance in developing the standards of respect she will set for herself.
So, my sistren, I beseech you, take the time to know the man. As he acts is as he is. Develop standards for your life and try to choose someone who has these same or very similar standards so that you might be evenly yoked. I cannot stress this enough.
When you know what your standards are, you will not waste time on someone who does not share those standards. Does not mean he's a bad man. It simply means he is not the one for you.
If he is the one for you, he will understand the standard and I do believe you will never have to require a marriage contract. He will offer it willingly, lovingly, protectively. He will not have to be forced to offer this, because you are evenly yoked. He knows the value of what he is offering you -- the spiritual value of feeling protected and safe, cared for and loved. Yes, these things are very good for a womyn's spirit.
This does not mean your husband will be perfect. It does not mean he will never falter. It means he is willing to strive for the same ideals as you, and that is a good thing. That is a very important thing when you are planning to build for a lifetime. With Jah's guidance, you will choosse wisely, and so will your mate.
What I feel objectifies the marriage is the prenuptial agreement, because it is all about possessions, all about cash. And yes, that is always poisonous to any relationship when people love money/possessions. The love of money is the root of all evil, so, yes, it is poisonous. In the USA, it is usually the man who demands this prenuptial contract. Interesting...
Soe, I don't relate marriage to a battle field and am not sure what you meant by the reference. Could you explain further?
One love...
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