@BCiF
I hear you, but adults know (even if they pretend not to) that they should be responsible when it comes to sex. There is no music in the world that confuses an adult about this. Adults CHOOSE to act irresponsibly. Adults CHOOSE to put themselves into situations where things can happen. I used to be totally against bars and never went there even in my 20s and maybe mid 30s because in my mind men were preying on women in bars, using alcohol to lower their inhibitions and take advantage of them.
But as I got older I realized that I wasn't giving women enough credit. As a matter of fact, guys, in my opinion, are more straight forward and simple minded compared to women and, as a result, we tend to be the ones manipulated 7 times out of 10. When guys manipulate women it is typically by destroying her self-esteem and/or redirecting her empathy. Both methods are sick.
As far as stimulation... I think its the other way around. The human body, in the same way that it has a biological clock, also has a self-included inclination or drive to reproduce. Reproduction doesn't care about morality or feelings. It is a biological directive that puts us into "the mood". Once in the mood people go looking for candidates to do it with and in the case of dancing, a lot of that is a ritual "mating dance" to determine if the dance partner will be a good sexual partner. Many animals have some form of mating dance. We just evolved dancing to non-mating purposes as well so what I would venture to say is that the original form of dancing was more about sex than it is now. But seeing a woman dance... dancing close... even slow dancing... it's sexual. That's why you don't dance with a member of the same sex unless you're gay or bi. You would never dance with your male friends even in the tamest circumstance because you know that it is something you do with the opposite sex; and therefore that's what makes it sexual.
Children learn this stuff from childhood as part of the culture. They simply don't know, consciously, why they're doing it until they get older. If you don't guide a child's natural sexuality in an attempt to shelter them, that runs the risk of unnatural sexuality developing as a result. Sexual energy needs somewhere to go. If you try to contain it, cut it off, etc. that is unnatural. Children masturbate, some even from very young ages because sex and reproduction is a natural part of human development. At what age is a woman fertile? At what age does a boy have working semen? These things should all be considered in human behavior.
So the point is... its not music that makes us do what we do. We do what we do and choose the music that fits the mood. If you want to hear music about sex you're probably already horny and don't realize it.
The bible says "train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it". So... no. Once my children are adults they are free to make their own decisions. Their minds are set by then. If I don't trust them to make decisions at 21 then it means I haven't properly trained them up to that point. If you have a daughter I have no doubt that you will raise her right and wont need to control her as an adult. But don't shelter them. You can't pretend the world that is outside your house isn't there. They will have friends connected with the world if nothing else and they'll listen to popular music and consume popular culture even more if you lock them into some kind of tower. The effort and energy you spend to keep them away from these things will make those things look more attractive to them, and they will be curious and driven more than anything.
Last night we took the kids out to eat. I had a mojito and was sitting next to my teenage stepdaughter who I've helped raise since she was 2. She took her straw and slowly went for my drink thinking I would stop her, because I usually do and it makes it into a fun game for her. But I didn't stop her so she didn't know what to make of it. But she knew that since I wasn't going to stop her that she was about to find out that she wasn't going to like it, and that's exactly what I wanted to happen and she took a sip and didn't like it. If I always keep her from a thing it programs her to think that thing might be desirable. But you give them a taste and help them understand why YOU do it; and why other adults do it. Because the mere fact your kids know you do something will make it something to be desired. There's no hiding or denying that. So instead of denying it you have to teach them so that they learn how to wait until they are ready.
And yes, I do have multiple exes, although I only have biological children with one person. But sometimes, it's not your choice. And it has nothing to do with timing or whatever. You can obviously have multiple exes without having sex. Sometimes people figure out what they want and need while they're in a relationship. And people grow at different rates. You can grow together or you can grow apart. In the old days a couple would stay together no matter what because society didn't accept them splitting up. However, now society treats this as normal. The question is, is it a bad thing? Is it better for 2 people to be forced to stay together and be unhappy? Or is it better for 2 people to be free to find happiness elsewhere? I can tell you for me that I was a slave to a couple of my previous relationships and very unhappy but stayed because of obligation. And that's not necessarily in the best interest of anyone; not you, not her, and not the kids. Because it is more important for children to see their parents happy than miserable, content than fussing and fighting, free than chained by circumstances. Because you want them to know how to love and how to be happy and they can't do this with their own family and children if they don't see it and experience it from their parents. My parent's weren't affectionate with each other and that affected me. So hopefully, when you do have kids it will be everything you ever wanted, hoped for, and more. I wish you better than the best in that regard. But if it's not going to work don't try to force it. You can destroy everyone in the process.
As a parent you should be aware of all content your children consume; whether it is music, games, movies, tv, whatever. And you should be conscious of their ability to handle it. My children watch things with cussing but it is pointless to try and stop that because their mom cusses like a sailor. So because they can't avoid it and it's coming from their mom, it would be silly for me to tell them they can't hear it from other people. The influence of their mother is far greater. And no one is perfect. If you're waiting for the perfect female and you find her then you should be afraid because she's probably hiding skeletons. But as a parent, and I've been bless to have very good, balanced, and well behaved kids. But the biggest thing is that they're going to reflect the best and worst traits from both parents. They can't help it and you can't fully talk them out of it. You just have to be as a good of a person you can in order to model the right behavior you want them to have. They will either see value in it or not. But thinking that you can control a child into adulthood... that's impossible. They will simply become adept at lying to you and showing you what you want to see. If you want deal with the real person you have to treat them like a real person and keep it real with them. Respect them without letting them walk over you. This doesn't come from fear (many parent's mistake) but from mutual respect and love.
"King Solomon's bloodline is a perfect example of sexual maturity."
That's extremely ironic that you would mention Solomon in the same sentence as sexual maturity. I'm just saying. Solomon, according to the bible which was probably exaggerating because he was a king, still had access to many women who he regularly had sex with. Many wealthy characters in the bible had multiple wives and/or concubines. The culture was simply different because making money was different. Today's culture is very different because women don't need men to survive like they did. They can buy guns for protection and they can use education to get better jobs than their male counterparts. So this one difference affects everything. So longer is there a "bride price" and no hoops men had to jump through to obtain a woman and no training of the woman to attract a good offer/price. I personally like today's society more where women are equal and independent. But that's why adultery is also different and possibly outdated. Much of the culture of ancient times had to protect women from being "put away" because a non-virgin would never have the same value as a virgin.
Meaning, that if all the young studs were trying to buy virgins then it made life difficult for the women who were divorced or widowed. Widows had to receive a portion of the tithes (you should call this government assistance) because it was a (socialist) welfare program. That's why it is hilarious for a right wing conservative to use the bible while trying to raise fears of socialism. LOL. Anyway... we see that Onan was supposed to take his brother's wife. In other words... their culture was so hard for women's survival that the family of a widow was expected to take her in. Instead, family drama ensued and she engaged in prostitution with her father in law in order to get pregnant. But this story exposes a lot of cultural issues that they had. Even today, prostitution is a big way of women making money for their survival and sometimes this is a choice and sometimes it's slavery.
Point is that sexual morality is, in my opinion of history, fundamentally based on protecting women. But as long as that is accomplished and adults consent, then I see no immorality in it, only people following or not following tradition.
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