Jewdosiscareyou,
When a man gets to the point in Life you describe, he’s got to sit down with JAH and tell His Majesty, “JAH, my Life’s just messed up and i don’t know what to do. RastafarI, please help me and guide me. i can’t figure it out for myself anymore. Please take over and lead and i will follow whatever you show me to do.” Then wait. He will give you an indication of what your next step should be and if you’ve really handed over control to Him, you will recognize that He is clearly directing you. Follow His direction (don’t blow it off). JAH has miraculous ways of very personally letting you know that a sign or direction is specifically directed to you from H.I.M.
This is the only way i&I know of, brother. Unless you are guided to them by JAH, no book or counselor is going to provide to you the guidance you need.
i was at such a lost point in my worldly existence about 5 years ago, handed over full control to JAH and He led me out of the despair and back to a good place.
Blessings to you my brother
In His Holy Name, RastafarI
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