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Ladies one question

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Time Zone: EST (New York, Toronto)
Messenger: Olivebranch Sent: 5/26/2022 2:04:15 AM

ladies one question is it wrong to flirt at the bar even if your man tells you to go out ?

Messenger: JAH Child Sent: 6/17/2022 10:09:22 AM

I feel like a facepalm moment here.

So much wrong with that question it has to be dissected...

First of all no man is ever "telling" me to go out anywhere... second of all especially not to a bar...

and finally to the root of the question "is it wrong to flirt" in general I say no, it depends on the intentions... but most of my job in customer service is basically flirting with people, regardless of their sex, just smile at people tell them some compliment about themselves, laugh with them, find a reason to make a joke, make a connection beyond the exchange of goods/services for money - this can be construed as flirting and it definitely is by anyone whose mind has intentions beyond the single interaction, because myself and all my coworkers will get people who take it the wrong way, want to ask for a date or whatever, or literally the old man who just brings me a chocolate bar every week because I'm nice to him. This is us flirting with each other in a way - we carry out pleasant conversations and he gives me gifts. But once my Kingman was there visiting me at work when the old man came and gave me a chocolate bar. Imagine, was my Kingman angry about this? Thankfully he is both sane and confident, so no, we laughed about it and we both admitted yeah this old man probably has a crush on me, and then we moved on and I ate my chocolate. I think the line between friendly and flirtatious is thin. And the intentions can be friendly while the other person takes it as flirting.
Really in general flirtation is an innocent thing and it only gets more serious when it starts getting emotionally involved or physically involved. As long as it's just two people chatting, what really is there for anyone to be upset about? Your tone of voice, your smile? Come on...

Now if my Kingman started instructing me to go places I don't want to go to, or encouraging me to go to places of little to no moral value such as a bar, this would be more of a concern to me. And probably bring up some questions about his own actions and intentions. Especially if he started getting jealous over truly innocent situations. Because I always think that the guilty heart is the most accusatory finger.

Sis you probably dodged a bullet if you got out of that relationship, sounds like it was toxic on many levels.

Messenger: Olivebranch Sent: 6/18/2022 1:29:44 AM

I think you can be friendly at work , then there’s too friendly and flirting .

Some men want there women to flirt and sex other men when they go out . I wonder how they making out ?

Then there’s promoters and ting who make a wage off of promoting parties . Lots of ‘em sex their “clients” as a way in . And they have them wifey . Not all eh but some .

When I go out I holding solo still. Not too crowded , decent crowd good music and limited drinks and it’s alright .

Messenger: JAH Child Sent: 6/18/2022 9:38:08 PM

"Too friendly" = flirting then?
I only disagree in that saying "too" friendly implies a line has been crossed and as I said in general I think flirting is innocent, it is only when emotions or physical gets involved that a line has been crossed.

I am not really sure how those kinda people fare, I have known a couple of them briefly tho and I never really overstood that, I guess it is like voyerism in a way, I dunno, I guess like the same as swinging in a way, I dunno about those things tho that is not my lifestyle.

Those club promoters tho yeah I have known some of them and what you said is true but hey that goes wayyyy beyond flirting at work, that is not comparable.

Flirting is just a friendly conversation in which there is probably some element of attraction at least on one side. A friendly conversation, even if one person is interested in more, if it stays on the level of a conversation only, then no harm done.

I go to shows solo sometimes too, nothing wrong with that, I guess the difference is just the venue choice but if reggae music is playing I might theoretically venture to a bar, been a long time tho since we have like our local sound system doing outdoor events and then recently just a couple strongs ago I did go down to see Dezarie beloved mama when she came thru at the World Beat. And my King wasnt able to go so I did go alone even tho I know I am gonna see the whole crew down there. But anyways I was smoking outside and a man asks me to use my lighter and we spark up a nice interesting conversation started talking about some deeper topics and he was a real cool dude for sure, I honestly don't remember his name but he was a nice guy and we chat for a half hour or so. So was that flirting? Maybe so on his side, probably not, he didnt seem like it anyway. To me he was just a human with interesting things to say and ganja to smoke, seemed like I was the same to him too. I know for 1000% that my Kingman would have no issue with me having a nice chat with a guy at a show. Because there was absolutely nothing else to it.

So I think this kind of gets at the original question right? I went to a music venue alone, my Kingman was cool with me going there, I had a chat with a man when I was there, and is that wrong - No.

Self respect and self confidence are a must in relationships on both sides. If one or both people are lacking in either one... there are gonna be lots of issues.

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