Hail up Empress Bongo I, hail up I bredren Jesse.
As far as the natural mineral makeup goes, which is pretty expensive by the way, I was using that toward the end of my makeup days. It continued to make me break out and have blemishes, just like the cheap unnatural stuff did.
When I wore makeup, I would literally use it as a mask. I felt powerful because no one could see the "real me". I have always been a barefoot girl, outdoors girl, and when I discovered cannabis I became a stoner girl. But I wanted people to think the opposite so I would do my hair and makeup and wear heels and shiny clothing, and make sure I put in eye drops so no one can see my red eyes from smoking. It felt like I was living a secret life and it felt powerful for some reason. The power of anonymity I guess?
I realized what I was doing, and I felt wrong about it. So I quit wearing the mask. In all aspects. I just started being myself and letting people see who I am.
The way makeup has gone so crazy these days, it's like women are trying to look like men pretending to be women. The level of unnatural alteration that people are doing with botox and fillers and all of that too. It's all become very alien and seems like women don't want to accept their natural selves anymore.
And part of the choice to live as a natural womban and not wear makeup is in thinking for my children, my eventual daughters that I'll one day have, to show them what a natural womban who loves herself looks like. I made an effort to get comfortable with my natural self so that I can teach my children to love their natural selves. Makeup is the same idea as plastic surgery to me - if you use it, you are showing your children that they need to go to these lengths also to be beautiful - a standard that they can't possibly hope to fulfill until their adult ages, meaning they will spend their entire adolescent life thinking they're not good enough, need to do grown up things in order to look beautiful. I've seen this behavior in my nieces because of the way my sisters live their lives, and I'm determined that my children will have a different experience. So that's one of my main motivators in being natural, not wearing any kind of makeup, not even the mineral kind.
It also makes it easier when you're in a committed relationship and you know your man loves you in your natural state. You're not trying to impress anyone else, so if the one man who matters loves you without makeup, it makes it easier not to feel like you need it. Looking like I do, with my hair all wrapped and no makeup, long skirt, etc, I am not exactly a magnet for men - most men don't look at me in a sexual way, it takes a certain type of man to be attracted to a natural woman, and most men out here are not like that especially the area I live in where everything is about fake boobs and looking like a Kardashian. If I wanted to attract a bunch of men, dressing like I do would not be the way to do it. And it took a lot for me to let go of that attention, after a lifetime of seeking male attention in order to validate my own worth. But the power that comes with being comfortable with myself is greater than the power that came with wearing a mask. So I'm really glad that I don't own any makeup at all, and the only thing I have to spend time putting on my face is some shea butter!
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