"Hell no, a baby doesn't get his needs met by acting aloof and above the fray, he screams his head off until mama has no choice but to shove a titty in his mouth."
Have you tried Tindr or Bumble?
I feel your pain bro, but that whole strategy is, fortunately, becoming irrelevant. I've never liked randomly approaching women. Attraction, "out in the wild" is a very subtle dance of body language and cues that escalates into an exchange of words and (phone) numbers which then escalates into an exchange of more ideas, thoughts, feelings, until eventually you exchange bodily fluids. While this description lacks all romance, the point is that from the first moment to the last it is about an exchange of ideas and how you communicate or express them.
What you're communicating is to see there is enough "vibration" between you and that woman. Does she resonate with you and you with her? It's the human version of animals sniffing each other's butts.
Part of that resonating is exchanging a "value proposition". You have needs. So what? So does every other guy. The thing I find dangerous about current incels is that some reach this point where they think their needs are to be met and women "owe" them that. Doesn't work like that. In reality it's like physics... or better yet, chemistry. An atom doesn't be like, "hey gal, mi haffi get an electron wit a negative charge mon" (ignore how terrible that sounds) and removes the electron from the first atom it sees in order to become a compound with little atomic babies and a dog. Has to be compatible. Otherwise... boom! Not good.
No matter if we like it or not competition is built into nature. Before the egg is even fertilized you, in your single spermatozoa form, had to beat out millions of other sperm cells. And since you're here, that means you won. You accomplished that. Procreation, as a biological imperative, doesn't end with just that one race. To a large degree survival of the fittest is applicable. Men compete for women like sperm compete for eggs.
But just as the fertilized egg is naturally nourished inside the womb, women have a natural instinct to seek out an environment that will be advantageous to themselves but primarily for their offspring. If you're introduction is "Hi, my name is Billy Bob, and I'd like you to live in this cardboard box with me and scavenge for ramen noodles between sessions of mind-blowing sex" that probably isn't going to work. Back in the day, a lot of men were older than their women, not to be creepy, but because getting "established" as providers, having that financial security, made them more eligible bachelors. "Gentlemen". This was simply survival of the fittest in a world dominated by coin.
So you have to balance all that communication of your own needs with hearing the needs of women. And if you expect them to stick a titty in your mouth you need to be prepared to stick some money in their pocket. For the ladies that might read this and want to vomit, no, I'm not reducing the needs of women down to money. I'm simply saying that financial security is a part of the equation of overall security that women instinctively desire. There's also physical security which is why women tend to seek taller, bigger men. Is she some kind of mafia boss who needs that? Probably not. She may never actually need him to fight for her. But... he should "be able" to fight for her if the time came because he is her protection. Same thing for lions. Yes, female lions hunt. But male lions defend their hunting grounds.
When Beyonce asks "Can you pay my bills" it doesn't mean she can't pay her bills herself. So in my mind, and I could be totally wrong, but my sense of the incel community is that they're still wanting the benefits of gender roles without necessarily playing those their own role and communicating that "value proposition". Subtly... of course.
Modern apps like Tindr and Bumble make things 100 times easier for both men and women.
They act like a broker, allowing both genders to put their cards on the table. You can get an overview and "swipe right" on people you could connect with while they do the same. If there's a match, there's no need for any awkward approaches because the match already finds you attractive enough to talk to. Why are men attracted to breasts? Why are women "somewhat" attracted to abs? What is it that we really need from each other? Because these needs feel real but its also very surface. What's beneath that? And can you provide that?
A lot of people who reject the system because they see it as chains need to reevaluate what a chain is. And I say this purely out of love. I was married to a woman who didn't want to have a job because it was "mundane" but she didn't have the knowledge and experience to operate her own business to a level that was self-sustaining. So guess what? Eventually, she became homeless and she had 3 kids. So one must consider the alternative. Work is natural. As society advances, work doesn't go away. It just changes forms. Like all energy. If your body stops working, guess what? You die. You have to seek BALANCE.
You need a job, BUT... the balance is choosing a job that doesn't cause you that much stress, even better, if its something you actually like doing. You need a place to live. BUT... it doesn't have to be huge or tiny. It should fit you and... if you don't want to be alone... it should fit someone else and be able fit in with what they need. Again... value proposition. What do you bring to the table? Bills? Schedules? This things are as natural as rain and the seasons. There is a time for work, a time for play, a time for rest. And to not be outside in the rain... you have to pay bills. Absolute freedom isn't not having all these things. Absolute freedom is having all these things in abundance. Financial "freedom" doesn't mean free of having money. It means having the ability to buy the things you want and need. If you're poor and have to worry about where your next meal is coming from, that aint freedom. That is a chain. The less you have the more chained you become because the fewer options you have to getting your needs met. Basic needs like food, clothing, shelter... everything becomes more difficult to obtain the less you have. This is the plight of the poor. Not something a person should choose willingly.
Again... its about balance. Am I a capitalist? Not by choice, but by participation. I would prefer that we migrate to a resource based economy with elements of capitalism, socialism, and communism. Competition is good for certain things, bad for others. Some things should be individually owned, others communal/shared. Some things should be supported by interested individuals, other things should be supported by everyone. But participation in the system isn't selling out. Selling out is changing who you are, giving up your morality or ethics, to prosper at the expense of others. You can survive without doing that, but a lot of people are overcome by greed. This makes them lose their connection to the greater humanity, to the people, the earth; to our place in everything and in everyone. As one denies these connections, it is easier to become racist, to become elitist, to become a Scrooge. And then you become the system. You perpetuate it. You force people to participate in order to survive so that you can keep having more and more and it's never enough. You're like a vampire, sucking the life blood of the whole planet.
So, without knowing you, I care about you because we are still connected. And as such, my desire for you is that you will find balance and not chain yourself to poverty. And if we ever hope to change the system, we have to do so from a position of strength, not of barely surviving. So I hope you stop doing that and choose, instead, to prosper. Not just for yourself, but for the other lives that you can touch. For each one of us is a link in a chain that connects us from past to present to future.
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