I overs your point, it's a reasonable one too. Having given this a lot of thought (and I'm not saying my view can't change), I've come to the conclusion that if I am not there to hear the tree fall, then I cannot say with certainty that it did make a sound. I cannot know anything about my mother if I'm not here to know her. At the moment of birth, when a baby comes into this world, it begins to create its universe through its senses. Had the baby not been born then the universe would not exist for that baby.
Perhaps the existence of things is known to us in another way, through our Akashic memory banks, but I can't prove that to myself at this time.
Touching back on your question: "I wonder why it is that she wants any of these things: beer, soap, rice, biscuits... does an underwater dwelling being need any of that? Or maybe it's not what people give, but the spirit in which they give it?"
Beer, soap, rice, and biscuits are all affordable items with obvious connections to water, and the human experience with water; with the exception of biscuits, which while requiring water to make them, would be a cheap food to offer an inhabitant of the sea. A spirit, born of the human psyche would appreciate an offering that the human mind connects to water. But you're absolutely right, in that it's the spirit in which they give it.
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