I have the same recurring vision, but only comes when I am very exhausted. I believe that is because that is the only time I am really quiet. In my vision, I simply see Rasta men, women and children living their life. It seems so real. I see them talking to each other and I find myself wondering, can they see me? Then I tell myself it was only a vision... perhaps a vision of what is to come... perhaps someday I will grow to fully embrace the Rasta life. I am still struggling with my Christianity. Recently, I broke away from the church I have belonged to for about 22 years. It's the church my whole family attends. I celebrated a birthday back in October, so it was time for me to do the "annual assessment" of my life. I felt my spirit ask me: "What are you doing? You know this church is not where you should be. You see the hypocrisy and it makes you sick to your stomach. Are you going to go through this for another year?" I meditated on the issue for quite some time. I had to admit I was afraid to leave this church because it was all I knew. Even though it was feeling more and more like just going through the motions. I suppose it's sort of like having a divorce. You know it's what is best, but it's familiar, so you stay. Well, now that I have left, I am going through a grieving period. When you've been involved with someone or some thing for 22 years, it is necessary to grieve. So I'm taking my time, letting my self feel what I need to feel. So I made the decision to leave and continue to pursue Rasta trod. My family thinks I'm bonkers, but that's OK. I never felt so totally free to just be... just be.
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