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Intelligent Children

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Messenger: irielight Sent: 12/16/2009 8:08:52 AM
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its just about being together with the child on a level with them then it is easy to guide and reason with them


Messenger: Ark I Sent: 12/19/2009 12:58:00 AM
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NordMan,

Through I experience with I own child and the children of friends, I can't relate to what the woman the I spoke with says about children not understanding the word "not". Just because a child doesn't listen, doesn't necessarily mean that they don't understand what was said.

I don't really think it is better to just tell the child to "focus on walking on this side of the street", because part of Teaching a child is to make them Iverstand why the nots are nots, so it is not just a command, but a Reason.

Also, to clarify something regarding what I initially said in this post. It is also important to Reason with your child to show them that it is important to listen to their Mother or Father even if they are given a command without explanation, because sometimes there is not time to give an explanation because of the danger of the situation, and sometimes it is not the right time to say the explanation. If your child is about to do something that will put them in danger, and it is necessary to give a quick command to prevent it; a child that thinks they need an explanation for everything a parent says, might not stop what they are doing and the consequences could be serious. In other situations, the I might be in a place or around people where it is not appropriate to go into a public explanation, so the child should know that sometimes they need to just listen, and the Reasons for the command can be explained later.

It is through explaining and Reasoning with a Child that the Child will gain more Iverstanding, and will also gain more Trust in their parents because they will sight the Reasons for things that they may not of known the Reason before. So when the parent explains the Reasoning behind listening to commands when necessary, they will have enough Trust and Iverstanding to see the good in it. That is not to say they will always listen, but they will be more likely to listen, especially at the more serious times.




Messenger: NordMan Sent: 12/19/2009 7:25:27 PM
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Ark I

I sight the message in most of what the I say. Of course a no must be a no without explanition when a situaton calls for that.

My mothertonge is not english but sometimes I feel I make myself more clear than I have obviosly been. The I maybe missed my point a little but give I some time and I will explain better becase I don't think I and I are to far from each other really.

To say a Child can not understand the word not is an exagregation. I sight that, especially older ones have the abillity. To very young children I can still see their, maybe fortunate, incapabillity of beeing able to PICTURE the word not in their mind.

If so, many times adults lack the abiliity to reason with children because focus is very much on not's and no's. If we adults explain the reasons for avioding some things they will gain trust and more likely listen when one uses no or not becasue they can feel and trust there is a reason for it. So, I agree, a no is a no and children must learn from early age that everything is not ok to do.

As I said, I feel we are not to far from eachother. I can hardly see any distance at all. I have read the I's inital post many times during I years as parent and got very much out of it. I give thanks for the reasoning, reply and clarification the I made. I don't sight what I was aiming to explain as an alternate way of raising a Child in terms of the importance of reasoning with them, rather put focus on the way young children see words in pictures and I can really see the struggle a young Child can have with pictuing the word not. Can the I not do that? That does not mean we must not strive to make our Children iverstand the words no and not. The reasons the I brought forward in the I's reply made that very clear.









Messenger: NordMan Sent: 12/20/2009 5:28:04 PM
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Greetings!

The word not can be confusing. Children have difficulties picturing the word not while words as for example dog, dance and music is easy. It can also be confusing to adults but for another reason. Children can be left confused but will eventually learn the meaning of the word as they go. I will give a better example than I did in I first post, feel free to comment.

Parent: Don't climb the table
child will hear: Do(+mumbling) climb the table
result: the Child climbs the table

parent 2nd time: Don't climb the table
Child will hear: Do(+mumbling) climb the table
result: the child climbs the table

Parent 3rd time: (maybe/probably raising the voice) Don't climb the table!
Child will hear: (change of tone) Do(+mumbling) climb the table
result: The Child realizes it is doing something wrong and stops climbing the table going for something else but is left with two messages

Alternate version
Parent: Get down
result: The child is left with a short clear message that is there for a reason. Sometimes further reasoning is neccesery sometimes not.

The child will eventually learn the word not. Some quicker som slower but none will ever get a picture of it. This does not interfear with the importance of making the child aware of the meaning of the word not or the fact that a no must be a no. Neither does it interfear with the importance of learning the Child think by themself and iverstand dangers and trust trough reasoning and experience. The fewer missunderstandings on the way the better i feel.

The word not can be confusing even for adults. This is of an diffrent reason than for the Children but can still be intresting. The example I will give might not be correct english. Many faces english that is not correctly spoken as from people like I for example. The example is similair to maths, which can be confusing to some and crystal clear to others, where two minus equals plus.
In maths: 2-(-2)=4
language: Don't you think we shouldn't do it?
Will a simple yes or no do it? I think it must be answered in full as in:

Yes, we should do it.
No, we shouldn't do it.

Now, lets reason about it.

Jah bless
RastafarI


Messenger: Ark I Sent: 12/20/2009 9:27:56 PM
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In the alternate version, it only works if the child is already on the table, not if the child is about to climb it.

What would you say if they are about to do it?




Messenger: NordMan Sent: 12/21/2009 12:37:28 AM
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I'm not sure of that. Why would it be so? If one would put in a stop or in some cases a no before, would that change it for the I? Still, do the I not see the picture? The picture that the "not-version" can be confusing?



Messenger: Ark I Sent: 12/21/2009 10:23:34 AM
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The reason I am picking on what the I is saying is because the I is speaking in too absolute terms.

Children Learn to Iverstand what "no" means early on. Before they Iverstand don't go on the table, or get down, they will Iverstand "no".

In some ways, saying get down could be more confusing than saying don't go on the table, because if they come to Iverstand what go on the table means, then learning that a "don't" in front of it means "no" might be easier than learning a completely new command like "get down", and they will also know exactly what is being disapproved.

I don't really think the absolute in either sense is the way to go, because the combination will teach more.

What I mean by that is, if a child is about to go on the table, than it might be good to say, "no, don't go on the table". If they are already on the table, it might be good to say "no, get down" and when they come down, "good boy/girl, don't go on the table, its dangerous".

This way as long as they Iverstand "no" and the tone of the parents voice then they will at least know that the parent disapproves. Then eventually when they start to learn more they will start to Iverstand what "go on" and "table" means, and Iverstand what it means when a "don't" is put in front. And they will also come to Iverstand what "get down" means.

I know with I own son, I would say the things he Iverstood, but I would also say many things to him that I knew he didn't Iverstand, so he could get used to hearing different things and I knew through repetition over time, he would come to Iverstand more and more.




Messenger: NordMan Sent: 12/22/2009 12:42:59 AM
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Yes I,

there is a point there. I will meditate on it and reason more later if neccesery.

Jah live
Rastafari


Messenger: Determination Sent: 12/22/2009 12:27:32 PM
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Greetings one and all,

Firstly, nuff big ups for the website. A lot of positive vibration here. It moves Iman to post.

This amongst others is a very interesting topic. Children. I love them. I won't reiterate what has already been said , for it is written. As far as parenting and children go, Iman have come to find that Sugar plays an important albeit destructive part in the development of a child's mind. Many parents surrender to the rebellious attitude of their offspring and use this substance in its many delightful forms as positive reinforcement to get things moving, like how the scientist uses cheese to manouever the lab mouse. Now, imagine. Flip forward fast through the days of a child growing up on such a terrible method of discipline. The adult that will surely spring forth. One who is wholly expectant and forever indulgent in the false comforts; and, on top of that, expects all things to be sugarcoated sweet, regardless of the source. It's all about what is taken in every day. In the mind and in the body. If it's sweet and it's not fruit, den someting mus wrong. What the lion and lionesses think about that?




Messenger: Ark I Sent: 12/22/2009 9:12:54 PM
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I enjoy sweets, even though I know they are not the healthiest thing.

In terms of using it as a reward for children. I can see how that could affect some people later on in life, as the I is saying.

I don't think an occasional reward of sweets will do harm, but to use it often is the wrong kind of motivation.




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