This reasoning isn't about one particular person. It is about all. If you think that this doesn't apply to you then that is for you to decide (whether right or wrong). If it does, then hopefully you will learn from it. I don't know everything that was said in the cycle of argument that has erupted on this forum. I started reading but the useless arguments took up too much space and the Useful reasonings were too spread apart and I wasn't in the mood for sifting through arguments.
I don't like drinking a glass of vinegar just because I know that there is a little honey added to it. I would much rather drink the straight honey, or at the very least a glass full of honey with a little vinegar in it.
Usefulness is the essence of reasoning. Uselessness is the essence of Arguing.
Upliftment is the essence of reasoning. Downpression is the essence of Arguing.
Fighting for a cause will come from reasoning. Fighting for foolishness will come from arguing.
So often in the world, people are sparked by an argument about something valid, then the cycle of arguing resonates until the argument becomes about anything that follows, whether valid or not.
This happens in personal relationships between freinds and family and also between a man and woman couple. It also happens between groups of people, whether the grouping is about a common opinion, ideology, nationality, skin colour or whatever else.
For example, sometimes a person might become angry about something their spouse does. Sometimes they speak about this problem to their spouse and sometimes they do not. But what often happens afterwards is that one picks on the other about some small foolishness, and then the other picks back about some other small foolishness. This cycle resonates back and forth getting worse and worse until the breaking point.
Another example, two people or two groups have a difference of opinion and start arguing about the difference. Or one person or group offends the other and the arguing erupts. Then, as it escalates and resonates, the two start looking for arguments. And many times the arguments that follow would never be an argument if the first argument didn't happen.
What I mean by this is that one person could make a statement that wouldn't cause a bad reaction at all under normal circumstances. But when that same statement is made during the cycle of argument, the other will react with argument and offence. And the argument or offence that follows really has little to do with what was said, but it is rooted in that first argument that started the cycle.
Please consider what I am saying when you speak with others. Look for reasoning, not debate. Debate is about confrontation. Reasoning is about Iverstanding and Upliftment.
So before you react in argument, relax for a second, take in what was said and make sure that it is something worthy of an argument and worthy of the time, energy and stress involved. And ensure that you are not going to react only because of the resonance of a previous argument.
I guess for some people this won't really matter, because it seems that some people must enjoy arguing or something, that is probably why so many couples argue and so many people argue. Although I can't Iverstand what the joy is in this. I know that I much rather prefer Reasoning.
Haile Selassie I